At some point, many women start to believe a quiet lie about themselves.
I’m just lazy now.
I’ve lost my drive.
I don’t have what I used to have.
This story often appears after years of competence, responsibility, and holding things together.
But here’s the truth that rarely gets said plainly:
Laziness doesn’t suddenly appear in capable, conscientious people.
Burnout does.
Burnout isn’t always dramatic. Often, it’s subtle, confusing, and deeply internalised — especially by women who are used to functioning well.
Here are five signs that what you’re experiencing isn’t laziness at all. In May 2025 I experienced total burn out myself. I was dealing with lots of family illnesses back in the UK – thousands of miles from my home in Perth, Australia. I was working in a toxic male dominated environment with no flexiblity as a single mum. Life was tough and I had been pushing through for years until I couldn’t push anymore.
Lazy people don’t care.
Burnt-out people care deeply… and feel paralysed.
You might:
This isn’t a motivation issue.
It’s nervous system overload.
When your system is depleted, initiation becomes difficult — not because you don’t want to act, but because your brain is conserving energy.
In early stress, rest restores you.
In burnout, rest can feel strangely ineffective — or even uncomfortable.
You might:
This doesn’t mean you’re “bad at resting.”
It means your system has been running on empty for too long and doesn’t yet remember how to downshift.
Burnout isn’t just exhaustion — it’s emotional blunting.
You might notice:
This is not a personality change.
It’s what happens when emotional resources are depleted.
Your system is protecting itself by narrowing the range of feeling.
This is one of the most painful signs of burnout — the internalised self-blame.
You might think:
Burnout thrives on comparison and shame.
But capacity is not a moral trait.
It fluctuates with life load, emotional labour, grief, stress, and time.
Nothing about your worth has changed.
Many women experiencing burnout say:
“I can’t concentrate like I used to — even on things I enjoy.”
This isn’t a failing of discipline or attention span.
Burnout affects:
When your brain is overloaded, it prioritises survival over curiosity.
This is why traditional productivity advice often backfires — it treats burnout like a mindset problem, not a physiological and emotional one.
When you label burnout as laziness, two things happen:
Burnout requires permission before progress.
Permission to slow down.
Permission to need support.
Permission to stop performing wellness.
When burnout is present, the most helpful question isn’t:
What should I do next?
It’s:
What can support me without asking more of me?
This is where books often help in a way advice cannot.
Not as instructions.
Not as solutions.
But as companions that meet you at your current capacity.
If you’re navigating burnout and don’t know what to read — or don’t have the energy to choose — I offer Personalised Book Prescriptions through The Book Snug.
They’re designed for women in the messy middle of life who need clarity without pressure, and support without fixing.
You don’t need to push yourself out of burnout.
You need the right kind of care on the way through it.
